So yet again it’s been a long time coming this post, so again I am sorry. For the past few months I have been dealing with a few personal things that I needed time to conquer on my own. One of those things being the break down of my relationship. It’s not always good to put into words how you are feeling as you go through hurt and heartache, so I feel like now is the best time to talk. I know this post isn’t going to sit well with some people but this is about personal growth and self awareness. This post is not about playing the victim, it’s about trying to empower people to see that no matter how much you love someone, the way that person loves you isn’t a reflection of how well you love them. Sometimes the hardest part of walking away from someone is knowing they won’t be coming running after you. Things I have learnt in the past few months about myself:
- I lost myself, loving someone else.
- I became so unhappy by myself that I relied heavily on other people
- That I will give everyone 100%, even those who don’t deserve it
- I always expected better, and always took less than I deserved
- I don’t know how to be alone
- I lost all interests, all independence, and all my spare time
- I give everything to everyone else, that I forget about myself and my own wellbeing
I can guarantee there are loads of people out there that feel exactly the same. So after learning these things about myself, I started to realise that I needed to put myself as number one. I realised I needed to get into healthy routines that focus on myself and my well-being. I realised I needed to leave the past behind and move forward in a direction I was happy with. I realised what amazing friends and family I do have around me that I can go out and enjoy my time with. Im proud to be able to say that through it all, I didn’t rely on someone else to pick me up and put me back together. Instead I became stronger, and I put myself back right. Im proud to say I will never settle for less again, I now know my worth. So for those going through break ups or heartbreak, I hope you know that the pain you feel right now, it will get easier. The feeling of being lost and alone isn’t going to be forever, and no matter what happens, you will pick yourself back up. Each day will get a little easier, each memory will get further from the forefront of your mind. You will find you again, just keep looking.